Enneagram Type Two (The Helper)
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Enneagram Type Two (The Helper)

What Each Type Brings to the Relationship

As with all double-type relationships, two Enneagram Twos bring many of the same qualities to each other. Therein lies both a main source of the attraction as well as one of the main pitfalls of this pair. Healthy Two couples bring a high level of warmth, affection, and sensitivity to each other. They are genuinely concerned about the welfare of their partner and of the relationship itself, and they are willing and able to put out a considerable amount of energy to make sure that all is well. A double Two pair has a high level of communication and checking in between them: two Twos would have no problem discussing how they feel, inquiring about the other's health, about how things are going at work, and so forth. They would also be delighted to help support the efforts of their partner in whatever ways they could. Both individually and as a couple, they are thoughtful, observant of people's needs, generous and respectful of boundaries and the need of others to be independent and to learn things on their own. Healthy Two couples can express enormous affection for others, while at the same time, letting them go appropriately. They also can find a balance between themselves as a couple and each of them as an individual.

Interestingly, since neither is used to being nurtured by someone else, they generally need to learn to allow themselves to be loved and helped by the other. If each of the Twos can take in the support of the other, the relationship can become a source of deep love and abundance from which they are able to more fully move out into the world. They feel secure and are loyal to each other, knowing that their partner is there for them. At their best, this is a loving, warm-hearted couple that uses the security of their relationship to raise a family, adopt children, and make the world a richer, more loving place. They reach out to others and build a family of choice, a home that others truly want to be a part of.

Enneagram Type Four (the Individualist)
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Enneagram Type Four (the Individualist)

What Each Type Brings to the Relationship

As with all double-type relationships, two Fours generally bring the same qualities to each other. Thus, the Level of health of each person is especially important for these types of relationships as are their dominant instincts. Double Four pairs generally make good friends and deep friendship is something they often bring to their intimate relationships. Fours often feel misunderstood, yet feel a special bond of understanding with other Fours. They share stories of their childhood traumas, their private dreams and disappointments. Both types are openly emotional and sensitive to the needs of the other. Both are looking for adequate mirroring and in a double Four relationship, they have a real possibility of finding it.

Because each person in a double Four couple is so attuned to their own emotions, there is a great deal of sensitivity and respect for individuality and each other's emotional needs. They have the ability to laugh at themselves and to find amusement with each other in the dark loneliness of the childhood and adolescence. They are not put off by unearthing deep psychological and personal issues. Both are encouraging of the artistic and creative efforts of the other and find it easy to communicate about the most private and intimate issues as they arise. They feel that their relationship is a truly safe space where the other is on a similar emotional wavelength: both feel less alone and less like something is wrong with them personally. Double Fours are highly romantic and idealistic as a couple and their intimacy has the potential to grow into a grand passion of virtually operatic proportions. Emotional ups and downs, hopes and disappointments, elation and despair tend to make this couple more focused on itself than on practical life, child raising, or their careers. Enormous candor, deep friendship, and consideration for the unique history and emotional needs of the other would be hallmarks of this relationship.

Enneagram Type Seven (the Enthusiast)
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Enneagram Type Seven (the Enthusiast)

What Each Type Brings to the Relationship

As with all double-type relationships, two Enneagram Sevens generally bring the same qualities to each other. Therein lies both a main source of the attraction as well as one of the main pitfalls. Thus, the Level of health of each person is especially important for these types of relationships as are their dominant instincts. The key characteristics of double Seven relationships are easy to spot: high energy, spontaneity, frequent travel and entertaining, and an interest in anything new or that promises to open new possibilities. If both Sevens are psychologically healthy and well balanced, there is a noteworthy joyousness and sense of abundance that permeates their relationship and which spills out to everyone around them. A healthy double Seven relationship is emphatically happy—even radiant and exuberant-and both parties enjoy sharing their happiness with as many others as possible. They are thoughtful, sensitive, idealistic, hospitable, and generous. Double Seven couples are sociable and unusually good company for others as much as they are with each other.

Each brings to the relationship a spirit of personal freedom that is noteworthy. Neither wants to be tied down in routines or empty, formal commitments, and so both Sevens are determined to not impose many rules or expectations on the other. They want their relationship to be guided by the fact that both parties positively want to be with the other rather than feeling that they are locked into some constricting set of obligations. Both Sevens bring a sense of possibility, open-endedness, experimentalism, and realism that enables them to build a life together—while making it an enjoyable experience for themselves and their circle of family and friends. Double Seven pairings are optimistic and resilient, and always ready to pick themselves up and start over again when they run into difficulties. Gratitude for the relationship—and for finding each other—is the guiding spirit.